Apr 13, 2017

How To Be A True Friend

I've had this blog since June 17. 2008 and one of my most favorite things is going back and reading my old posts. In the past 9 years there have been years were I've neglected my blog and some where my blog was thriving and I felt like I was hitting my stride. As I was looking back on different posts throughout the years I came across this post I'm about to share. I thought it was fitting to share  as I have recently joined a pretty amazing blog support group and am starting to form new friendships. I found these tips in The Happiness Project



Here twelve tips for how to act like a true friend:

1. Be supportive when your friend has bad news. This is perhaps the most critical duty of a friend.

2. Be supportive when your friend has good news. This is trickier; surprisingly, it’s sometimes harder to be supportive when someone gets a promotion, gets engaged, or enjoys other good fortune, than it is to be supportive when someone is going through a hard time.

3. Don’t gossip. It’s not nice. Also, although it may be fun to gossip about Pat with Jean, Jean is probably going to feel wary of being your friend—you’re not trustworthy. Along the same lines…

4. Keep a secret. One of the most satisfying aspects of friendship is that it allows two people to confide in each other. Spilling secrets will destroy that. Ah, it’s so delicious to disclose a secret—but you have to resist.

5. Exchange favors. Along with the feeling of intimacy, one of the best parts of friendship is the feeling of support it provides. And while getting support is important, giving support may be even more important for boosting happiness.

6. Don’t criticize a friend’s sweetheart or spouse—and, at the other extreme, don’t flirt with a friend’s sweetheart or spouse.

7. Be kind to a friend’s children.

8. Be friendly to a friend’s friends. In fact, in a phenomenon called “triadic closure,” people tend to befriend the friends of their friends – and this is very satisfying. Friendships thrive on inter-connection, and it’s both energizing and comforting to feel that you’re building not just friendships, but a social network.

9. Show up. Sometimes a friend wants you to show up someplace when you’d really rather not: a wedding in a different state; a surprise party that falls on New Year’s Eve, when you’d rather be doing something else. Recognize a command performance, and don’t miss it.

10. Remember birthdays.

10 comments:

Bethie The Boo said...

These are all great tips for being a good friend! I find it is definitely true that the friends of your friends often become your friends too. I have made a lot of connections through other people. And on the flipside, I have had people in my life that haven't done the things on this list very well and I've ended up kind of cutting them off and I find I'm better off for doing so. Great post, I'm so glad we're getting to know each other thanks to the PP!!
Beth
http://thebethnextdoor.com

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Oh, I love The Happiness Project. These are all great tips. I know one of my best friends used to be really close to another girl - not so much anymore - and I really didn't like her (she was a bit rude) but I was nice and she'd be invited to various gatherings.

-Lauren

Kim Munoz said...

Love this. Being a good friend is one of the most important things to me. I have many friends, but a select few are now so much more than friends. They have become family!

Lecy Croson said...

I'm thinking being a good friend is becoming a lost art form these days. These are great tips and I wish more people behaved this way. Thanks for sharing!

Midnight Cowgirl said...

These are great tips for being a true friend!

Penny Struebig said...

Wonderful reminders! Being a friend can be so rewarding if you just put a little effort into it.

The Flynnigans said...

This is everything a friendship should be. I agree with Lecy, it seems to be an loss art form being a good friend. It doesn't take much but friendships are give and take; you get what you put in.
:)

Charlotte Klein said...

Love this list. I have had to do some serious reevaluating over the years because people I was relying on to be there for me when I needed them weren't always, and then I was surprised to see who reached out when times got tough.

Also last week I had a moment and pang of jealously when a friend announced her pregnancy. I was so shocked (and honestly, hurt) by my own reaction, because shame on me for not being happy the second she told me her good news. I always want to work on being the best friend I can be... and that was a moment I regret deeply.

Thanks for sharing this, my sweet <3

Sandra Bond said...

I agree with ALL of those!

Anthea said...

Lovely tips. Friendship is a true gift but so often something we take for granted.
Totally agree with the tip about being happy for a friend when something good happens for them. When someone makes snarky comments instead of just being pleased...I question the friendship.